Miss Independent

Independence.  Feels good, doesn’t it?  I am in control of my destiny.  I am the captain of my own ship.  I am queen of my island.  That’s right, I’ve got it all figured out. 

This thought process is pretty accurate, right?  Not only does the American culture breed a craving for comfort, but also for independence.  I think we often think of independence as synonyms for success, “making it,” dominance, power, etc.

My sense of independence was really broken this week and I am thanking God for that.  We were never intended to live a life of independence.  As my pastor often says, God has called us to live a life of interdependence.  The perfect model of this is the interdependence of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

On Tuesday evening I fell on my tailbone extremely hard.  I was bed ridden for the next day as I could not get up without fainting.  I was so out of control of my body.  I had no sense of independence whatsoever.  I needed assistance with everything.  I had to reach out and ask for help from friends so my husband could return to work.  I had to receive this help and love despite the fact that it was uncomfortable because my sense of independence was being shattered.  My pride was being crumpled like a piece of useless paper.

The breaking process is never fun, but there is always beauty on the other end.  This beauty has a name.  His name is Jesus.  In the process of asking for help, I went deeper in learning how to receive love.  I went deeper in learning how to receive healing.  I went deeper in friendships.  I went deeper in my respect for my husband who continues to lay down his life for me in good times and bad.  I went deeper in my appreciation for the power of prayer.  I went deeper in my love for my parents who still showed concern for me as if I was 4 years old again and had just fallen off my bike. 

Interdependence is a very joyful, peaceful way to live.  I would crush my tailbone all over again to go deeper in this lesson.  I don’t want to pretend any longer that I am queen of my own island.  My life already has a royal master who sympathizes more with my pain and suffering than I will ever comprehend.