Slacking

I really have been slacking on being consistent with blogging. You know, I really only blog as a creative outlet because I do enjoy writing and it is fun to look back and see the happenings in the past that are so easily forgotten in the midst of a busy life. This is the same pleasure I find in journaling. The written word is really a treasure. I hope that future generations in my family line can one day read my words and get a glimpse of a life gone before them. They will see that culture, style, technology, music and industry change, but the human struggle, triumph, joy, sorrow and longing remain the same. I am getting ready to embark on a new journey that will leave even less time for blogging; home schooling! My 5 year old will start kindergarten this year. After much prayer and discussion, we have decided to home school her for her kindergarten year. This will no doubt be a challenge, but a fun one! I know my many years of forcing my 3 younger siblings to “play” school with me will come in handy. I italicize the word play because I do not think this is the same verb that they would use. It’s not really play when you are forced to do something against your will. I know deep down they thank me for the wonderful start I gave them to their formalized education. Sienna might need to call them for counsel in the coming months!

I’m Not Ready for This!

Tonight I took my newly turned 5 year old daughter on a bike ride.  Shortly into the ride she stopped so she could tell me something.  I wasn’t quite ready for the ensuing conversation that would last the remainder of the bike ride.  She stopped to tell me that she thought a boy at Vacation Bible School is cute.  She informed me that this is not the same as when we say “cute like a baby.”  Oh boy!  She described his black hair and how well he followed directions.  She mentioned that he didn’t talk much but she just really liked him.  Several minutes later she told me that she couldn’t stop thinking about “that boy.”  By the end of the bike ride she told me that she just loves him and she wants to wear her pretty flower dress to VBS tomorrow.  Although hilarious, I am so not ready for this! 

I Like This Kid!

I have to share this sweet note that a student left my husband the other day.  My husband teaches elementary school P.E.  He is pretty much the rock star of the school.  Here is a letter from one of his groupies.

Dear Mr. K

You are vare nis.  You are the nisist pe tetchr in the wrld.  You are vare hansum.  Your wif is prite to.  And your son is vare nis. 

I’ve never met this kid but he thinks I’m pretty!  Ha!  How can you not think this is the sweetest letter ever?!? 

Baptism!!!!

A few months ago we had baptism Sunday at our church.  It is always amazing to see people make an outward statement of faith to turn from their old life and fully surrender to Jesus.  There were people from all walks of life who were baptized; children, adults making their first commitment to the Lord and adults who needed to recommit their lives to the Lord.  Our 7 year old had a few friends who were baptized with this group.  We had been talking to him about it, but not in a way to pressure him.  We want him to be baptized when he, himself, knows that he wants to follow Jesus and submit to His will.  Our job as parents is to guide him in this endeavor, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit to call us and transform our heart.  We love Him, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

So we’ve been talking about this over the last year and Jadon continued to say that he didn’t want to.  Part of him was nervous about being dunked in water with so many eyes watching him!  So again, we never pushed it but just tried to explain what it was.  Then out of nowhere he came to me the other morning and said, “I think God wants me to be baptized today!  Can I do it in the bathtub?!?”  Marcel and I said, “OF COURSE!!!”  So he got on his swim trunks and the whole family gathered around.  We read the scripture of when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist and then prayed for him.  I had tears in my eyes the entire time.  It was so awesome!  Marcel baptized him.  What a beautiful picture to witness between father and son.  The father passing the gospel to the next generation and watching him emerge from the water FULL of joy!  Jadon was a different kid that day and all of heaven rejoiced!    

Life…through the eyes of a four year old

In honor of women’s history month, I am raising a very ambitious little girl.  The other day she informed me how she will spend her work week when she is “older.”  Would anyone like to contribute to her 529 plan?!?

Monday:  Cashier (we had just been to Bed, Bath and Beyond so I am assuming this is her retail store of choice)

Tuesday:  Police woman

Wednesday:  Bible study teacher

Thursday:  Dentist

Friday:  This is the day she will spend with her children

Although this is a bit aggressive, I truly am thankful that she lives in a generation where any one of these options will be available to her!

Lately...

I certainly have been slacking lately when it comes to blogging.  I guess I just haven’t had much to write!  Life is good, busy as usual, but good.  How is it March already?  Hmmm  I turn 33 this weekend.  I have gray hair and my memory tends to fail me more often than not.  I’m not sure how I feel about this.  Here is what it is happening in my world.

Books I’m reading right now:

 

Songs I dig right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFbMvFdRDvg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PYmnNg9Mus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVVlMQved8k

Life events:

I now have a 2 year old!  Wow!

I now have a potty trained 2 year old.  Double wow!

I got to spend a weekend with my dad watching high school basketball!

Accomplishments:

I filed our taxes.

I made the best homemade cinnamon rolls last week. 

In progress:

I’m figuring out how to publish a book.

I’m seeking God on whether or not to home school my daughter next year.

Seasons

The Christmas season is over and a new year is upon us.  Last year ended with joy and the new year began with sadness.  The last Saturday in December had me holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers to celebrate a joyful wedding feast between my sister and her husband.  The first Saturday in January had me holding a single rose as we said goodbye to my grandfather who is now at eternal rest.  This is life, isn’t it?  Full of seasons; one that brings joy and another that brings sadness, one that brings chaos and another that brings rest and still another one full of laughter and the other full of tears.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (New International Version)

This verse is such a comfort during the difficult seasons.  These seasons should be expected and we have a creator who never fails to be our comfort.  No one will pass through this life without experiencing the good with the bad, the sweet with the bitter, the happiness with the sorrow.  But there is joy in the extension of comfort from our Heavenly Father.  I think about the extreme emotions that I faced in a week’s time and I can’t help but smile at the tangible presence of God in each situation.  One of extreme joy that gives us a glimpse of the wedding feast between Christ and His bride, the church, and another that reminds us of God’s mercy over this life and the next life when we call on the name of Jesus.

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.  Psalm 30:5 (New International Version)

The Local Church

My dad recently asked me to write about my journey of growing up in the church to leaving church all together to connecting once again to the bride of Christ.  I consider it a great privilege to recount my journey back to the Father and what keeps me engaged and serving in my local church.

The Vision

As a follower of Christ, we are on a journey.  This journey is not one that the world teaches.  It is not a journey to seek happiness, wealth, independence, political gain, etc.  It is a journey to become holy; to become like Christ.  Christ calls us to be holy because He is holy (1 Peter 1:16).  We are made in His image (Genesis 1:27) and have the responsibility to bear His image to the world.  The local church is our training ground, our accountability to this call and our fellowship with the saints.   It is the church for whom Christ left His throne of glory to come into this dark world and shed his very own blood so that all who believe would have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10). 

So the vision for our local church is to have members who are on this path of holiness.  They are being transformed into the image of Christ.  They are going from glory to glory with the help of the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).  They are serving in the church so not to serve man, but God himself.  They are tithing and acknowledging the supernatural blessing that God has promised when we honor Him in this way (Malachi 3:10).  They are bringing others to church so that they too have the opportunity for salvation and transformation.  They worship God in truth and spirit (John 4:24).  They acknowledge the living God in every aspect of life, not just within the walls of the church building.

So how do we get on this path to make the church an integral part in our spiritual growth and training?  How do we become a people so desperate for God that going to church is not a self seeking endeavor?  Not just a place to simply fulfill a social desire, to rid guilt, to satisfy a check list of “to-do’s, “or simply a place to go “because we’re supposed to?”

My Journey

I grew up loving the Lord.  As a young child I simply loved Christ because I knew that He loved me.  I feel blessed to have memories from this time in order to understand what Jesus means when He says that we must have childlike faith (Matthew 18:3).  I was surrounded by a loving church family and had wonderful parents who trained me in the way I should go (Proverbs 22:6).

Early in my teenage years, the attack of Satan altered my life.  Satan took the sin of someone else against me and started whispering in my ear a false character of God.  My sins were too great and God was very angry.  This led to a great fear of God and eventually to an all out rebellion of this God.  I could not live up to perfection, for we all have sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). 

My story has a happy ending.  God put the right people in my life to open my eyes to the schemes of the devil and the love of the Father.  I briefly describe my testimony to set the stage for what I believe is important in winning the hearts and minds back to the Father and therefore back to the local church.  Our battle is not against the flesh but against the spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12).  What keeps people away from church or at best half hearted church-goers?  Satan.  His mission is to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10).  We must know who the battle is against in order to claim our rightful victory for ourselves and those around us. 

Outreach

When I returned to the church in my mid-twenties, there was a key ingredient that the world could not offer me – genuine fellowship.  God placed mature Christians in my path to teach me how to fellowship with Him and with other believers.  I love in Matthew 22 how Jesus sums up hundreds of laws given to the Israelites in two simple statements; love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…and love your neighbor as yourself.  This is what we were made for.  We desire intimate fellowship with the Father and intimate fellowship with each other.  I think this is vitally important in reaching the unchurched and making a vibrant community for those who do attend church.  We have to offer an environment that encourages and matures genuine fellowship.   

This is what the enemy stole from me early on in my life; a relationship with the Father and relationships with others.  He will never cease in trying to do so.  He keeps us independent, distracted, irreverent, desensitized, tolerant, etc.  When we realize that the enemy will thwart every effort to reach the unchurched, we can turn to scripture for guidance.  In Ephesians 6, Paul gives us two offensive weapons against the devil’s schemes; prayer and the word of God.  When we gather in a community that prays together and studies God’s word together, the enemy has no ground.  I believe this is the basis for genuine fellowship.  We are on a path to holiness with others.  We are doing life together.  We are holding each other accountable.  We pray together and for each other.  We confess our sins to one another.  We study God’s word together and let it change our thoughts, actions and lifestyles. 

On a practical level, community must happen outside of the church walls.  This can be done in many ways.  Reliance on the Holy Spirit on how to accomplish this is key.  Human effort will only turn this into a task or strategy that will eventually lose momentum (Galatians 3:3).  Whatever the format, fellowship fulfills the heart’s desires.  It’s transforming and engages people with the heart of God.  It puts them on a path to holiness.  Their hearts become an expression of God himself.  The fruit in their life is seen through their active service in church as well as the community.  Their obedience to the Lord and His call is their act of worship (Hebrews 13: 15-16).  Church strategies for keeping such people in church become irrelevant.  Their hearts have been capture by the only One who can fulfill our deepest desires.  When we find this kind of fellowship with God and with other believers, the devil and his worldly schemes are no match for God’s kingdom at work where two or three are gathered in His name (Matthew 18:20).

The Flow of Blessing

I am the mother of three children.  Since becoming a mother 6.5 years ago, I have probably spent less than $200 on clothing for my children.  I have been beyond blessed with quality hand-me-downs from friends and family to outfit the little people in my house.  This has obviously been great for our pocket book!

So here I am with wardrobe upon wardrobe being given to me and I was ready to take a bunch of clothes to a children’s consignment sale a few months ago to make some cash.  My motives were not evil.  I was simply looking to make a little cash to pay for other needs for my kids.  I was driving down the road one day and God stopped me in my thoughts and asked, “Why are you trying to nickel and dime these clothes?  Do not you trust that I will provide for your needs just as I have given you clothing item after clothing item?”  “But I could really use $100 to pay for x,y and z.” said me.  L

When I stopped arguing, I realized God was asking me not to stop the flow of blessing.  I like to think of God’s blessing like a bathtub.  He continues to fill our bathtub with an ever running stream of water.  The catch is we cannot put the plug in the drain.  He will keep the bathtub full and the water fresh.  Our job is to keep the water draining.  We receive the “water” and then we “let the water drain.”  We receive and then we give.  So in my little situation, I decided to keep the blessing going and give the outgrown clothes to others that I knew could use them just as I once was in need of them.  Obedience is always a key step in allowing God to transform you; to bring you from glory to glory.

This is not a post to brag about my obedience or put down the act of selling clothes to make money.  It is simply to show a revelation that God gave me on keeping the flow of blessing fluid and not stagnant.  In the bathtub example, we have to release in order to receive more.  Before long, our heart gets such a thrill out of the releasing to others that our selfish flesh forgets that there is a release for us too!  The act of giving does become our blessing!  Good stuff J 

Mr. Bean

Ever since the London Olympics back in August, my children are huge Mr. Bean fans.  He did a skit during the opening ceremonies that they thought was hilarious.  I myself did not see this skit nor have I ever thought Mr. Bean was all that funny.  He is now the litmus test for comedy in our house.  If they can imagine Mr. Bean doing it then it is funny.  “Mom, what if Mr. Bean took all of his trash and threw it out the window?”  Such statements are followed by a genuine, uncontrollable laughter.  It's a bit puzzling.  This too shall pass??

Still Smilin’

My sweet little girl (it’s sad that I can’t call her a baby anymore) broke her arm last week at the park.  This momma had a few days of the guilties L  She went down a slide and toppled over the side and landed just right (or wrong I guess).  She’s been a trooper.  She has to wear a cast for three weeks.  She hasn’t even noticed that it is there.  Every once in awhile she’ll point to it and say, “owie” but then she moves along with her business.  The amazing thing is that I can peel it off in three weeks and I don’t even have to take her in for a follow up appointment.  It was such a minor break that they are confident it will heal in 3 weeks time.  Aren’t our bodies amazing?!?

Signs You Might Be Living With Young Children

1.       Smudges on your wall start to appear as abstract art.  If I could just get one more little finger print in this spot I could see a very creative masterpiece.

2.       Your only matching set of “glasses” is made of plastic and decorated with an NFL logo.  These only get used when company comes!

3.       Small lego pieces can be found in every part of your house…the bathtub, freezer, underneath your bed sheets (this is very painful by the way), the flower pots…EVERYWHERE!

4.        The smell of poop does not even register in your brain.  It often takes a friend (or complete stranger) to suggest a diaper change. #totallyimmune

5.       Speaking of diaper changes…diapers really don’t look that bad.  It’s not like you get to use the restroom in peace anyway.  Why bother even having to go to a special room?!? L

6.       Your grey hair is definitely not because of your age…this can only be attributed to the younger population living in your home.

7.       You have mastered a second language.  You know what every syllable, grunt or sound means that is said by your 18 month old.  (ooo, tay, bumpa, ell, dayda, enna, ma…translated as shoe, okay, grandpa, Bill, Jadon, Sienna, more)

8.       Laughter is usually the best medicine.

Humor

This conversation took place between Jadon and his friend, Josiah while playing hide-and-seek with their sisters.

Jadon:  I know EXACTLY where they are.

Josiah:  Me too…….where are they?  Can you tell me?

Jadon:  They are either in the basement, the living room, the kitchen, my room or my parent’s room.

A Big Shout Out

Whew!  This momma is TIRED!  We just returned from a lovely trip up north to spend time with extended family at our annual reunion.  Due to his work schedule, my husband could not be with us.  His absence was determined just a few days before the trip so a little anxiety crept in as I thought about the 3+ hour drive alone with the kids, not to mention the entire trip without him.  We had a great time and I had lots of help from grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, etc.  But it was still exhausting.  At the end of the day, I was still the only parent.  The one left to discipline, brush teeth, wipe butts, stop blood, coax sleepy eyes to sleep, ensure protein was eaten and not just sugar, etc. 

I say all of this not to throw myself a pity party (well, not entirely anyway), but to acknowledge that my admiration for single parents grew exponentially this past week.  It is overwhelming to realize that for some, parenting is not a team sport.  My hat is entirely off to you.  May you be covered in grace. 

I think a fun challenge is in order.  Go out of your way over the next few weeks to really bless a single parent.  Even a small gesture will go a long way.  Offer a meal, babysitting, an encouraging note, some groceries, etc.  Even though single parents probably feel like an island at times, they should know that people are willing to swim to them! 

Summer Fun

The highlights of summer thus far…in bullet form!

·       Vacation Bible School!  So fun and the kids are still singing the songs!

·       Basketball camp…I had a blast helping, Jadon had a few fun moments but mostly liked the treats served at the end of camp (good thing Grandpa is a good coach – I think a few skills took)

·       The end of tee-ball.  This was actually quite sad.  Jadon had such a cute little team and they were quite good by the end of the season!  By good I mean all of the kids knew to run to first base and not third base after they hit the ball and they actually sent some runners back to the bench after forcing/tagging them out!

·       A week at grandpa and grandma’s – fun memories!

·       Lots of smores (enough said)

·       Pool, library, parks, bug bites, farmstead, more bug bites, sleeping in, movie watching, sidewalk chalk, more bug bites, etc.

Ahhh, isn’t summer grand?!?  So much fun to be had.

Summer!

I do declare that summer has approached rather rapidly!  We’ve had a very busy spring – a 6^th birthday, a 4^th birthday, the end of the school year, the start of tee ball, a for sale sign in our front yard, a new found skill called WALKING!  The list goes on and on.  Whew.  It’s been fun.

I was sad to say goodbye to kindergarten (much more so than Jadon!), but I am also thrilled to be saying hello to summer.  During my 8 years in the corporate world, I always felt very antsy during summertime.  It was hard to work during the summer months (especially when you are married to a teacher!).  When kids entered the picture, summers meant a time of fun and relaxation with Dad.  I always felt so excited for my kids to be home for the summer but also terribly jealous of the fun they were having while I was at work.  I don’t take one minute of this summer for granted!  I get to be home doing the fun things that were such fond memories of my own childhood.  Having two parents in the world of education made for very enjoyable and memorable summers in my youth.  The pace of life was slower.  Time was spent at the pool, the ball fields, basketball camps, reading, spending the day with friends, watching Nick at Night, etc.  I look forward to similar memories this summer with my own kids. 

Why is it that summer memories mostly involve food?!?  Smores, root beer floats, slushies, ice cream, watermelon, corn on the cob, burgers…now I’m hungry.

Miss Independent

Independence.  Feels good, doesn’t it?  I am in control of my destiny.  I am the captain of my own ship.  I am queen of my island.  That’s right, I’ve got it all figured out. 

This thought process is pretty accurate, right?  Not only does the American culture breed a craving for comfort, but also for independence.  I think we often think of independence as synonyms for success, “making it,” dominance, power, etc.

My sense of independence was really broken this week and I am thanking God for that.  We were never intended to live a life of independence.  As my pastor often says, God has called us to live a life of interdependence.  The perfect model of this is the interdependence of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

On Tuesday evening I fell on my tailbone extremely hard.  I was bed ridden for the next day as I could not get up without fainting.  I was so out of control of my body.  I had no sense of independence whatsoever.  I needed assistance with everything.  I had to reach out and ask for help from friends so my husband could return to work.  I had to receive this help and love despite the fact that it was uncomfortable because my sense of independence was being shattered.  My pride was being crumpled like a piece of useless paper.

The breaking process is never fun, but there is always beauty on the other end.  This beauty has a name.  His name is Jesus.  In the process of asking for help, I went deeper in learning how to receive love.  I went deeper in learning how to receive healing.  I went deeper in friendships.  I went deeper in my respect for my husband who continues to lay down his life for me in good times and bad.  I went deeper in my appreciation for the power of prayer.  I went deeper in my love for my parents who still showed concern for me as if I was 4 years old again and had just fallen off my bike. 

Interdependence is a very joyful, peaceful way to live.  I would crush my tailbone all over again to go deeper in this lesson.  I don’t want to pretend any longer that I am queen of my own island.  My life already has a royal master who sympathizes more with my pain and suffering than I will ever comprehend.

Growing Too Fast

My oldest little person turned 6 last week.  That fact alone really seems impossible.  A few days before his birthday, his belief in Santa, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and all other magical creatures that mysteriously visit you while you sleep (the concept is really quite creepy) came to an end.  I was really quite sad about this.  My husband and I have always said that believing in such “people” will be something fun for our kids, but we won’t go out of our way to convince them that they are real.  So the time came when Jadon was asking questions and starting to think about these scenarios with too much logic.  How does a bunny leave candy for children without any arms to hold said candy?!?  His questions were too demanding to brush them aside.  The truth had to come out.  He just smiled as the truth was revealed as if he had figured it out years ago.

I’m not sure why this is so sad to me?!?  I guess it’s because it’s just one more sign that he’s growing too fast.  I think believing in fantasy and having a wild imagination are such magical parts of childhood.  On the bright side, I guess he now knows that all of these gift givers do not have endless pocketbooks!    

Crazy Times

In a little over a week’s time we will have a “for sale” sign in our front yard.  Preparing to sell a house is a lot like preparing for a wedding (if you’ve done neither, I have a few points of advice:  #1.  Elope and #2. Live with your parents until you can afford your dream home…..ha!).  Like planning for a wedding, there are so many minor details that you come to a point where you throw your hands in the air and say what is done is done, what is undone will remain undone.  We are to that point.  We have been working really hard the last two months to prepare our home for a potential buyer.  We’ve replaced bathroom floors, painted, stained the deck, fixed doors, painted some more, seeded the lawn, etc.  And by “we,” I clearly mean my husband.  But we are one now, so his labor is my labor - BUT my labor pains will never be his. J  My husband has conquered this intense labor with perseverance and grace.  Hopefully all of his hard work will be a blessing to the next home owners.

I haven’t had time to really think about all of the realities of actually selling our home.  Anyone that has tried to sell a home in the last 5-7 years knows how scary it is from a financial perspective.  It is a really tough market out there, but we feel strongly that God is calling us to another community so we know He’ll work out the details.  I’ve had glimmers of sadness here and there at the thought of leaving our first home, but I’m sure the fullness of that will hit me when it actually sells.  So if you think of us over the next few weeks, we would love your prayers as we take a step of faith and follow God’s lead.  Let the “fun” begin.

Faithful

I am reading the book of Matthew right now and I always find the stories of Jesus miraculously feeding thousands of people so fascinating.  First of all, it is just an amazing miracle that shows the depth of his compassion to feed a famished crowd that has taxed him in every way.  Chapter 14 details the miracle of feeding 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish.  Skip ahead one chapter and Jesus is once again surrounded by thousands of people who are in desperate need of nourishment.  The disciples ask Jesus where they will get enough food to feed everyone in such a desolate land.  What?!?  Weren’t you just with Him when he fed 5000 people (not counting women and children)?!?  And now you ask how He is going to feed this many people.  Oh ye of little faith.

This lack of faith is so obvious when you read these stories back to back in the bible.  But how often do I ask the same silly questions??  Whether it is finances, time, agendas, everyday details that stress me out, etc., I hear Him lovingly saying “Haven’t I come through on this time and time again?  Don’t you have faith enough to know that I will come through again?”  He is so faithful.